so the dream I just had seriously messed me up

11Apr10

So much to the point where I feel that I need to write it down bc I think that it symbolizes a lot in my life right now.

So it began (I think bc the beginning parts of it are spotty) with Ash and I being at the condo and then his mom called so we had to go to our own homes. Then I’m at home and I’m drinking glass after glass of ice water. Like I can’t stop I just keep drinking and I’m in my room and there are papers everywhere and one of those water dispensing coolers behind my bed. So then I start looking for my mom and I find her in this bed that’s suddenly in my room (or maybe it was the hallway) and at first I thought she was dead but then she got up and started talking to me about the water. Then I kept noticing stuff that looked like money in my room but if I went to pick it up it was monopoly money. Then all of a sudden I realized that shit I left all of my stuff at the condo and that I need it for school and just in general so Ash and I are gonna have to go back. So I go to get my phone and realize its been off so I turn it on and he’s already called and he’s like “oh thank god you called we have to go get your stuff”. So next thing I know I’m in my car taking the back way to university and its stormy and dark and its at night (the whole dream was taking place at night time) and I’m on the phone with Ash still and I realize my glasses are off and that I’m not really paying attention to driving. So anyways I put my phone down and put my glasses on (bc everything on the road was becoming blurry figures and I kept going faster) and then I put the phone back up to my ear but then realized that I had no control over my car and that I was about to crash. So all of a sudden I fall onto a side road ditch. And I say onto not into bc I didn’t fall into the actual ditch but the platform above it- and now I’m on a bike. So I fell of a bike (not the car I was driving) onto this ditch thing and began saying something along the lines of ” I have no control” and in the background my boyfriend was still on the phone and he was saying that it sounds like I’m being a control freak. So in the meantime the shaky feeling that I had back in the “car”? Its still there and it’s getting worse to the point where I’m trembling and all parts of my body are shaking and it feels like it would be almost seizure like. So now it feels like the earth is shaking and in the mean time I’m picking myself up and getting my school bag and my purse (and my school bag was SO heavy) and I’m telling myself that I’ve dealt with worse and that I can make it to school so I start to walk up this giant hill/road thing with my bag while everything is still shaking like mad.

And then I woke up with my heart pounding afraid to move bc I didn’t want to start shaking. 😦

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